that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She tied me up with her honor cords...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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