Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
