His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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