Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
