This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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