We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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