New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
