So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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