i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
