I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
