Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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