hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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