my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
my poor anus
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
