Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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