life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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