so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Randomize
