I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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