sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
