also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
