I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
