if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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