Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
