me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
