i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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