we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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