you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
