he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
