Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Who died my cat blue again?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
