I am puke
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
