we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
