You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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