Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
