what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
