I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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