Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
