she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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