i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
