She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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