I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
