Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
