So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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