if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
