What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
