The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
