Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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