I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
