I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I could make wine with my vomit
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
