It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
