Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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