he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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