11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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