Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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