I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
a search helicopter?!
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
