apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
