hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
