based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
