I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize