I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
