Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
