my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
