So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
