Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
