I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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